If that ONE thing would change...

There’s this one thing I keep bringing to God. Over and over. And if I’m honest—I’ve said it more than once: “Lord, if You would just fix this ONE thing, I could trust You more easily.”

It feels like I’ve prayed every way I know how. Surrendered it. Spoken scripture over it. Laid it down—and still somehow keep picking it back up! It’s always right there, like background noise in my soul.

What makes it harder is that I want to forgive. I’ve asked God to help me forgive. But the feelings don’t follow. And that’s where it gets confusing. Why won’t He just take it? Why do I still feel this weight if I’m doing what He asked? Did He not hear me?

The other day, a friend gently reminded me of the man who said to Jesus, “I believe—help my unbelief.” And something about that hit different. Because it’s not a polished prayer. It’s a cracked-open one.

Trust doesn’t always look bold and confident. It looks like sitting in the middle of the wrestle and still whispering, “Help me believe You’re good in this too.”

God isn’t waiting for me to “get it right.” He just wants me to be honest. To stop judging my prayers by how different I feel afterward, and start trusting that He hears me simply because He loves me.

So today, I’m not showing up with clarity. But I am showing up. And I’m remembering that even in the wrestling, I get to rest. Not because the situation changed. But because I walk with a God who isn’t afraid of my questions, my emotions, or my unbelief.

And that’s enough to take one more step forward.

And maybe, if you’ve been carrying something too—wondering why it still feels heavy, why the feelings haven’t followed your prayers—you just needed someone to say: You’re not the only one. And He’s still with you. Right here. In all of it.