Peace lives in the present

How many nights have I stressed myself out thinking about my past or my future?
Laying awake replaying conversations, wishing I had said something different… chosen a better path… handled things “the right way.”
The painful part is—I can’t change what has already happened. But it still torments me. The “should have,” “would have,” “could have” plays on a loop.

Then I swing to the other side.
I think about my future—how next time someone says something hurtful, I’ll protect myself, defend myself, do whatever it takes to not feel small again.
And that right there is exactly where the enemy wants me: stuck in my past, stressed about my future, questioning myself, convinced God is disappointed in me, and hyper-focused on self-protection.

A few nights ago, around 4 a.m., I was doing this—lying in bed working myself into a panic. Past. Future. Past. Future.
And right in the middle of it, a quiet thought cut through everything:

“God wants me in the present. Not the past. Not the future.”

So I asked myself, “What is happening right now?”
I realized I wasn’t breathing well, so I took slow, deep breaths.
Then I noticed how tired I was, and I said, “Thank You, God, for meeting me in the right now.”
Peace came quickly. And not because I figured something out—
but because, for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t trying to protect myself.
I was resting in who I am in Jesus.

For years I’ve taught about living in the “right now.” I’ve shared it with others, but the truth is—I was still chewing on it myself.
That night, it finally sank in. And the contrast was so clear.

I’m sure I’ll need the reminder again.
But now I know where peace actually is—in the present, with Jesus, not in the past I can’t fix or the future I can’t control.

-Noah