James 1:8, “A double minded man unstable in all his ways.”
God tells us that we are free; we are created in such a way that we can choose. It is not the will of God that everyone chooses to obey every one of His commands. He would like for us to, but He does not will it. It is the will of God that we get to choose. Many times we want to do what we want to do, and yet we can see the wisdom in what He has asked us to do. When we continue to choose our way, the end result is double-mindedness and, ultimately, self-hatred that leads to depression from struggling to agree with God. At this point many will see their freedom to choose as a curse and would like God to step in and make them robots programmed to do only His will. Such a mindset will keep us waiting for a long time, and the in-between time will become a mean time as we slowly return to the place we never left. Esau is interesting in that he regretted losing the birthright but showed not a hint of remorse about the soup. He still wanted the soup and the birthright. We want to continue in the self-gratifying ways of the past (good and bad) and still have a dynamic relationship with Him, and yet the two are incompatible. Hence, people get depressed and want to punish themselves for their misbehavior. This self-punishment is not repentance but something they deem sufficient to allow them to continue in THEIR ways while still pleading to God to make them be pleasing. Depression will continue to appear because of the knowledge that they are free but are choosing not to follow Christ. It is a conflict of doing the very things that they do not want to do, and their way never builds them up but tears them down. This is where the world, flesh, and Satan are of benefit to believers, not a curse, by virtue of the fact that they make us aware of the principle of cost and benefit. The cost of self-hatred outweighs any possible perceived benefit of doing what we want. Christ has set us free, and when we get sick of being double-minded, we can use our freedom to follow Him and be at one with ourselves, discovering a peace that passes understanding. Remember, choosing our way as opposed to the WAY is like walking with a weak cane; one day it will break, we will fall on it, and it will pierce our very hearts. God’s commands are for our good, not His.