I Corinthians 4:5, “Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God.”

Peter’s statement that “a woman will be saved in childbirth” is confusing until the word saved is properly defined. The term saved, as used in the Bible, refers a majority of the time to deliverance in the present. Nothing hinders daily victory and joy as much as selfishness. Experiencing childbirth, a woman’s self-life is given a severe blow as she devotes her own wellbeing to the good of another, her newborn child. This very loss of self-centeredness allows her to be more susceptible to daily victory in Christ.

Peter’s statement is not meant to be a dig to women who have not borne children any more so than to men, who also have never borne children. He is pointing to a greater truth, and that truth is that selfishness needs a deathblow in order for mankind to find life. Childbirth seems to validate a woman’s existence (not all women, but many) in the sense that once a woman is a mother, the course of her life is believed to be set, and she therefore has validation and purpose. Men do not have such an experience, and I find that many are looking for purpose and validation. However, we seek for the things that can only be found in Him.

I have collected several suicide notes from men over the years (more men successfully commit suicide than women). The notes are predictable and often carry the same theme: “I am sorry that I did not amount to more”; “I should have done more with my life”; “I am a disappointment.” In short, they never found validation–or, rather, a fulfilled purpose–in living. Within the context of discipleship I often play a suicide game. I pretend that I am the person sitting before me wanting to commit suicide, and the person must take the name of Suicide. I say, “Suicide, why do you want to kill me?” The answer comes in various forms, but always with the same general thrust: “Because you are worthless, you have not accomplished anything with your life, and you have not lived up to your potential.” I then respond, “Exactly what is my potential? How will I know if I have accomplished enough or lived well enough to fulfill my potential? Will it be when I have made a medical discovery, become popular, obtained my own television show, gained the praise of my family, or memorized the whole Bible? The problem is that I know of men who fall into the previous categories of accomplishment that have all committed suicide, therefore proving that your definition of validation is faulty.”

Something very depressing to many is that they have “made it” in the world’s sense and wake up in the morning being their same old selves. Validation from yourself, the world, or others is like taking a dry dishrag and wringing it for a full, thirst-satisfying, glass of water. When man cannot find validation, he will live to the world, others, and self in an attempt to justify his existence on the earth. I have not mentioned the things that we do that actually, in our minds, do the opposite of validating us. There are the outbursts, the deeds of the flesh, the old habits that return, the failed marriages, and more. Men more than women need to stop looking for validation in any place other than the Lord. Naked you entered the world and naked you will leave. Frank Sinatra died and Las Vegas dimmed its lights for a short time. Wow! What a tribute. They then turned them back on full blaze and went on gambling.

If the Lord validates you, you no longer must live to the world, yourself, or others. You will be free, free indeed. He validates every man with a simple statement, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” That is enough. With that statement echoing in my heart, I am as happy sitting on a tractor turning up the grubs and watching the seagulls eat them as I am preaching before five thousand. I am as expectant in defeat as in victory. I am not watching myself obsessively, nor does the affirmation or rejection of the world or others change my day.

No one can be born again by the will of the flesh, insidious in its ability to take the eyes off of Jesus.

Job 34:15, “All flesh would perish together, And man would return to dust.” John 1:13, “who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
No one will be born of the will of the flesh. It is impossible. For in the flesh are the senses of man that constantly need feeding. One may think of them as instinct gone amuck. Senses in the body are given attention either by pain or reward, feeding or starving, or consciously avoiding or obsessing on. Either way it is in being activated that they are kept alive and in charge. The greater truth is that the senses want to be activated; the lesser truth is how they are activated, which is by eating from the tree of good and evil. The desire for food (wish fulfillment or fantasy) will keep senses alive just as much as condemnation from eating too much. Look at the anorexic or observe the obese, and both scream “flesh in control.” An overwhelming desire for sex or the condemnation of looking at porno both scream that the flesh has regained control. Thinking of oneself as intelligent or stupid are both still flesh. Again, flesh is simply the senses in control. The east denies the flesh in an attempt to appease it and the west feeds it in an attempt to appease it. Of course, the west doesn’t have a choice in that nothing is enough to satisfy it, nor does the east really choose, since there is ultimately no way to withhold from the flesh. Nevertheless, the flesh is flesh and is hostile to God. Now, why does flesh desire to be in control? It is because flesh desires man to be flesh-centered. If man becomes Christ-centered, the senses of flesh would not be fed but would be sublimated to Christ. The flesh can never be more than a slave, and a rebellious one at that, for by the works of the flesh will no flesh be justified. No one can be born again by the will of the flesh, insidious in its ability to take the eyes off of Jesus. The flesh constantly screams for attention and has a thousand methods at its disposal to get it. Believers and non-believers alike have flesh. The saddest thing is to witness someone who has abandoned his will to flesh. Like a tick, flesh will feed until it explodes and destroys itself. I meet many Christians that struggle with the sin of homosexuality but are not homosexual, and if you were to meet them, you would never guess what their particular deed of the flesh is. However, meet someone who has, by choice, yielded to that area of the flesh, and it is evident in his or her body. Just a few minutes with that person reveal to what they have yielded their flesh. Now, why would God put us in flesh? I am not talking about a physical body, but the desires of the senses that reside in the physical body. Well, it has been said that the greatness of a man is not determined by what he does but rather by what he refuses to do. The man who feeds his flesh through adventure and the procession of praise for victory or the mockery for defeat is not as great a man as he who says, “Not my will but Thy will be done.” Having flesh and its senses allows man the unique opportunity of choice, of living on the earth but not being of the earth, of living to God and not to senses, and the discovery of something higher in this life, spiritual fulfillment. Flesh, or rather the call of the senses to stay alive, is a constant reminder that we must move our eyes to Jesus. It is another stronghold allowing us to stay focused. If God is for us, then who can be against us? Again, the flesh is never a friend; you may buffet it and make it a slave, but it will never be a friend. The flesh is a strange thing in that it cannot live on its own but must live on something that is living. It adapts to resemble the thing on which it lives, but it isn’t really a living thing. When man dies, the fleshly condition of the man dies. It is weird.

“One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

Mark 10: 21, Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” I recently received an indoctrination concerning saving and financial responsibility. Well, amen, many have been stupid with their credit cards. Some have, in reality, stolen money through poor management. There is no question that they need to rein in their spending habits. However, reining in probably isn’t the root issue. More often than not I find that those with high debt are attempting to meet a need through the physical world. Some feel empowered with what they can purchase. Others have a false sense of control. Still others have been so hurt by relationships that they find more security in things. And there are those just meeting an obsession or compulsion. Having said that, when does the teaching of financial responsibility merely become a mask for carnal living? When does it cross the line and cause an obsession with money and security and even create unbelief? As I look at the books written on this topic, I generally find authors who are more obsessed with money than with Jesus; their security actually appears to be in money. I wonder what these authors would do if Jesus approached them and said, “One thing you lack; go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” The man talking to me had taken financial responsibility too far. It was time that the Master reined him in. At any point He may, in a like manner, rein us in.

It is believed by those who need to make a choice that they cannot. We believe that it is impossible in certain areas of our lives to choose to be different. Many simply believe that they are stuck with their obsessions, addictions, anger, self-righteousness and all the other deeds of the flesh.

They are like the person standing outside of their house in the snow, holding the key to the locked door, and screaming, “Would someone please let me in!” How can the believer be stuck, be locked out of victory, when they are the only one holding the key?

Let me illustrate. One man said to me, “I am addicted to porno!” At that, I responded, “I bet your family is sick of watching porno with you!” He replied, “Oh no, I never look at it around them!” My question is simple, how can he be addicted if he can choose when and where he watches the porno? How can a drug addict not be able to choose against the drugs when he chooses to purchase it and chooses to do it out of sight?

We hate to be confronted with this truth but we are doing exactly what we want, exactly what we choose to do! We are not unable to choose; we simply don’t want to choose the right thing. We are in unbelief and are constantly choosing. We have to pick between the words of Jesus and the voice of the flesh.

We CHOOSE the flesh. It is an inescapable fact. We are where we are today, all because of personal choice. Some will argue, “It wasn’t my choice to be molested, to have an alcoholic parent, to be emotionally and verbally abused, to be abandoned, to be unloved, and more.” All quite true and at first you reacted out of instinct. However, after maturing you have chosen what your reaction/lifestyle toward the event will be. After getting the proper information we may choose to remain victims, to not see God working, to blame others, to make those around us miserable, to make others pay, to live in self-hatred, to try to undo the past by duplicating it.

Two people have a common, horrific, event in their lives. Years later, one is sweet and the other sour. Why? We want to avoid the obvious, we want to give excuses but the fact is choice. One believed choice was greater than the past. The other did not.