Bad Memory is Godliness
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgression for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins,” Isaiah 43:25.
There are two things in the passage that strike me. We are made in the image of God, Who says, “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake.” When those to whom you minister, those who minister to you, those you minister with, and those to whom you will never minister do something to hurt you, the thought of the transgression can haunt you for years. It only takes a name being brought up, an event of the past, or a painful experience to renew the transgression. If the hurtful person completely disappears from the scene, never to be heard of again, he can still take up residency in your head and heart. As I often note, the purpose of forgiveness in the Bible is restoration. However, there are those who do not want restoration; hence, they would see no need for forgiveness. There are relationships I have tried to restore in the past by asking for forgiveness, only to be told of more offenses and to stay away. For my own good, I need to forget. Oh, to able to forget, to wipe out a transgression, to remember the sins no longer, just for our own sakes. When I got married, Betty quickly realized what was ahead of her, for each day I would ask, “Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet?” Everything would shut down while we looked. Then a few years ago I got glasses, and we have added them to the list of things that are lost daily, along with a cell phone and the key to the mailbox. You get the picture. “Betty, have you seen my keys, wallet, glasses, phone, and key to the mailbox?” One day, justifiably, she said, “Can’t you remember anything?” I jokingly said, “Forgetfulness is a sign of godliness. Only God could wipe out transgressions and remember no more, and we are in His image. I am glad that in His image, I can forget. I just do not want to remember everything from my past, and if not being able to remember where my keys are is part of not remembering, then it is a fair tradeoff.” You can see why I can be difficult to live with! However, to forget is a great blessing. Research (if it can ever be trusted) says that the average person only loses about 10% of the ability to remember. The difference is that past age 60 it takes more physical effort to correct the forgetfulness. In the younger years, we forgot the mail and thought nothing of running back to get it. In the older years the extra effort is a frustration. My grandfather used to complain about his memory loss, and I would remind him that I had worked with him most of my life and never remembered his having a razor-sharp memory, only now it was annoying him. Start this day knowing that the Lord wipes out your transgressions for His own good. He does not want to think about your failures all day long, so why should you? Second, He does not remember your sin; it is the enemy coming from your past. Guilt is the undertaker’s best friend.
I Hate Divorce, Part 2
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Malachi 2:16, “For I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel.”
Let God be true and every man the liar: God does hate divorce. However, He does not say that he hates those people who get a divorce. I am still baffled and ignorant concerning the interpretation of the Scripture by some who spread the notion of no divorce at any cost. I do not understand that, when there can be child abuse of every kind, addictions that deform the whole family composition, children overdosing on drugs, and Christians holding a handgun to their heads and pulling the trigger, all because of a bad marriage. Come and live in my shoes, hearing what I have heard over the decades of marriage counseling, and see if somehow perspective changes. It will never change the fact that God said, “I hate divorce,” but it might make you wonder if He does not more greatly hate the things that lead to divorce, the “hardness of heart.” If the lesser gives way to the greater, then is not the end result of the divorce the lesser in view of the more terrible sins that led up to the divorce? I so often wish that believers could plug a jack into my head and hear the screams from the children that lived with parents who decided to stay married to be obedient. Mind you, the parents’ behavior was not dutiful to any other directives indicated in the Gospel, but somehow not divorcing became to them the supreme act of obedience and a feat in which they could boast. I see this same conviction being widely promulgated by believers.
If you have had a divorce and were a stupid person in your behavior, we at ALMI stand with you. If you have had a divorce after staying in the marriage even beyond when the peace of God left you, we at ALMI stand with you. If you are struggling today, ALMI stands with you. Jesus came that you might have life, and have it abundantly. Our desire, like His, is for you to find abundant life. Remember, we have all failed Him according to the Scriptural directives, but He has never left us nor forsaken us. We can honestly tell Him the facts of our humanity and be open to what He will work into our lives. I remember a couple that had everything going wrong. The husband held two jobs, the wife was sick and yet kept going to work, the teens were rebelling, and their house was in foreclosure. I just said, “I have nothing to give that will relieve your situation. Will you do one thing? Invite Jesus into the pit in which you have found yourselves. Every situation into which you invite Him is one for which He will take responsibility. Only Jesus can lift your spirit.” The next week they arrived with a big smile. I mistakenly assumed something wonderful had taken place—perhaps a new job, kids turning around, or the dynamics of the marriage changing–and I asked what had happened. The husband said, “Well, I lost one of my jobs!” That did not explain the smile until he continued on to say, “We invited Jesus into the pit! Nothing changed but our attitude, and now we have hope.” Invite Him in. Relationship is the hardest and messiest thing you will ever experience. Marriage can be a tough pit; ask Him to enter in. Either we have a God or we do not have a God! Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we have a God. Remember, God does NOT hate you. Do not be a pessimist about marriage; there is no waste in God, and past bad experiences bring new life into today.
The Marriage Pain Stick
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
I often like to mention this particular stick in marriage counseling. The illustration goes like this: The day you get married, God gives you a twenty-inch pain stick to eat. You can only eat one inch per year, and every inch is quite painful, since it involves the dissolution of pride, self, the desire to be adored, and much, much more. At any point you can–and many do–give up and give the stick a heave; you have had it. Who needs it? You can live quite well without marriage, thanks. With the passing of time, loneliness comes to the forefront (man is a social creature), and you find someone that is so totally different from the mate experienced in the past that you are willing to pick up a new pain stick. However, this pain stick is exactly the same length as one given on your previous wedding day, twenty inches. You must start all over again!
I readily admit that during 25 years of counseling, I have seen people that should never have gotten married, period! They have no skills for an intimate relationship or any desire to grow and become something different. Amen, God has something in that. Even Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because of “hardness of heart.” Some are hard by choice, and they will have to wear that. However, in the normal marriage struggles, a couple gets to glimpse the depths of just how selfish and stupid they really can be. As one man said, “I was going so well in the Lord until my mate entered the room.” What an admission! We are commanded to love our enemies, and yet we avoid loving our mates. Well, we are all on a journey down our own path to discover that He is God and we are not, that He is love and we are not, that He holds all things together and we do not. It is a great trip. Marriage is death, death, death, and more death to the thing we hold dear, ourselves.
Hormones!
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Simply let the peace of God rule in your heart.
Matthew 5:27, “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; 28but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
If the message that you get from what I am about to say is that I am somehow justifying immorality, please reread the article. Immorality is sin. However, I would like to make one small point concerning the passage quoted: It is written to those who are married. A single person can commit fornication but not adultery. Fornication is prohibited for the single just as adultery is for the married. Why make a distinction? It is simply in order to recognize the fact of the hormones of youth. God has created men and women with a sex drive for attracting the opposite sex, for procreation. When the hormones are raging in a young man, it is impossible, in the power of self, not to look on a girl with lust, so the Lord can use the sex drive to reveal the weakness in a young person’s flesh. I have seen so many young men under condemnation because they had sexual thoughts about a young woman and applied the verse above to themselves. I don’t believe that is realistic, and it leads to condemnation. Is there any person dating or engaged that has not thought about the day, when married, they could be in bed together? Is this adultery? Are these thoughts fornication? I don’t believe so. Can such thoughts go too far and be sinful? Yes! How to tell the difference? Simply let the peace of God rule in your heart. He will tell you when you have moved out of the natural into the unnatural. However, remember, condemnation will not help you.
Missed the Will of God in One Area? Pick it Up In Another!
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Just because you married out of the will of God does not mean that you cannot pick up the will of God today.
One last thing, if you have missed the will of God in one area of your life, pick it up in another. Here is what I mean. Imagine that you married an unbeliever. There are many who will hint or blatantly tell you that event will now direct the rest of your life. Because you came a Y in the road years ago and went left instead of right, you must pay for it the
rest of your life. In the end, there is no need trying, since you have already messed things up. That is a lie. Just because you married out of the will of God does not mean that you cannot pick up the will of God today. You can move into His will and love the unbeliever, just as He does, “for God so loved the world.” You can share with your mate. Even in a worst-case scenario where your mate leaves you, you can still pick up the will of God today, which is to walk in the Spirit, gain the revelation of Christ, and come to know the One who knows you. There is so much in the will of God. But again, missing it in one area doesn’t mean that you can’t pick it up in other areas and your life will be perfect. I have seen many that married in the will of God but after the ceremony didn’t pick the will of God. So what if 10 years ago they chose the will of God; is that helping them today when they are not? Remember, we are all in growth. I am not going to hold the mistakes that my children made at age 5 against them. Actually, if you miss the will of God, it would have to be His fault. If your son doesn’t make it to the first day of kindergarten, whose fault is it? We make the plan (an act of faith); He directs the steps (an act of foreknowledge).
She is my sister, he is my brother.
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
“And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” Gen 20:2
For those of you who are married, what are some of the words and concepts that stir in your mind when you hear the words “wife” or “husband”? When I say that I have a wife or call Betty “my wife,” many things come to mind, for there are myriad issues associated with the term “wife.” I think of the children, finances, the home, the emotional, physical, and mental aspects of our relationship, future and past events, good and bad, commitment, oneness, pains and joys, holidays, babies, ultimate goals, and more. After all, she is my wife.
There is much written on the relationship of husband and wife. However, I want to investigate an overlooked aspect of marriage, that of brother and sister in Christ. This is a greater relationship than marriage. In heaven there will be no marriage, for the earthly relationship of marriage will end on earth. “For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” (Mark 12:25)
When I look at my wife and call her sister, everything changes. Just as the word “wife” brings with it a multitude of feelings, situations, and actions, so does the word “sister.” She is my sister in Christ; I am her brother in Christ. Those two words, “sister and brother,” move us to a different realm with completely different issues and goals. Once I call her “sister,” I acknowledge that she is not my own; she has a Father and is a member of a family. As my sister we have a goal that goes above and beyond that of a married couple. God is the goal and the desire of our hearts; we must encourage each other in Him. Who did what and said what is not of ultimate importance; He is. All of the little annoyances of the day don’t matter. Earthly mistakes are not the issue. Security is not in finances or who was wisest with the money. Together, He is our goal. When offended, we recognize that we deserve to be offended until we cannot be offended, for of what use will we be in the kingdom if we still get offended? I can’t judge my sister, for, ”Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and stand he will, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” (Rom. 14:4)
There is something higher than marriage for a couple, there is another dimension, and there is a better place from which to relate. Sometime today, turn to your wife and call her “Sister,” or to your husband and say “Brother.” For too long we have only seen our mates as wife or husband, and there is more.
Being Nosy
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
“Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; and they have no storeroom nor barn; and {yet} God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!” Luke 12:24
I had to laugh one day when a brother questioned an old prophet of God, “How are you supported?” The old man responded, “Why are you asking? Did God tell you to give me something? If He told you to give me something, even if I am covered in gold and jewels, you had better give it. If He told you not to give me something, and I am in the ditch, naked and starving, don’t give. So what did He tell you to do?” At that the man went silent and looked at the ground. The old prophet said, “So you were just being nosy!” And he walked off.
I have often been asked the question, “How are you supported?” It should be obvious. There are no tricks, gimmicks, endless mailings and appeals, or manipulation. I am supported by those who have heard from the Lord and responded accordingly. I often answer the question by saying, “I am a bit embarrassed. I have a friend, I tell him my needs, he has a father that is very rich with many contacts, he calls them, and the money is sent to me.” I can see the look in their eyes as they go from wondering how I could be ministering in such a small ministry to thinking how lucky Mike is to have such a friend. “My Friend,” I continue, “is Jesus. His father is the Father, and His children are my supporters.”
Many just can’t believe that God provides. Often an engaged couple will tell me they are calling off their marriage because of finances. My response is always the same, “Did God tell you to get married? If He told you to and you don’t, you will have worse problems than unemployment!” The lesser gives way to the greater. If God tells you to do something, do it. With the call will come the provision. Don’t shame yourself by being unbelieving.
Why Go to Church?
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
A church attendee wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.
“I’ve gone for 30 years now,” he wrote, “and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.”
This started a real controversy in the “Letters to the Editor” column,much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!”
When you are DOWN to nothing…. God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!
Attraction vs Respect
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
There is a difference between attraction and respect. Respect will leave the heart of the person with God. Attraction wants some of that heart for one’s self. When we respect another, true Godly respect will send us to Jesus, so we can experience what we see, what we like, in another.
Lust is attraction of any kind. Attraction wants to experience some of the persons heart and attributes for themselves. You see this all the time in congregations. The men or women are listening to a male or female speaker and thinking “It would really be great to be married to them.” That is attraction, not respect. That is lust, not respect. To look at someone and say, “If I were younger and unattached, there would be no question,” is attraction/lust.
What does that statement have to do with respect? Respect is gender neutral and, generally, attraction, is gender specific. So what is the point in understanding the difference? How do we confess if we don’t know what to confess? What if attraction to the spirituality of another is lust? Then, the solution would be easy. Confess it and move into respect.
The lack of distinction between attraction and respect has led to much spiritual abuse. Believers are listening too much to men and not to God. Believers are following too many men and not Jesus. Respect will never let us go where attraction allows us to go. Respect keeps us following Jesus.
Again, this idea is thinking outside the box, but it helps me understand why some get sidetracked.
