Divorce and Bitterness
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
When I talk to a brother or sister contemplating divorce, I immediately explain how he or she is presently feeling. The response most often will be, “How did you know exactly how I was feeling?” Quite simply, I say, I just described the characteristics of a bitter person. The mate’s behavior is not dictating how the person now feels, although he or she believes that it is. Bitterness is the true dictator, a most divisive and destructive force to which many believers have succumbed. “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31, 32).
What are some of the common signs of bitterness in a relationship? The bitter person is responsible for them, remember, for it is not the actions of others that cause bitterness, but rather a hard heart and ears attuned to the enemy’s voice, providing the soil bitterness needs to grow. There is a difference between being offended and being bitter. We do not find Jesus, the one Man in all of humanity who was offended the most, ever bitter. Blame must rest squarely on the shoulders of the person who is bitter.
Bitterness is an attitude that grows until its roots are entangled throughout the person’s mind, will, and emotions. Any attempt to remove this poisonous plant will be met with resistance through desire, intellectual arguments, and the feeling of hopelessness. Bitterness can even be considered an addiction. There is a soothing inner calm for those who have become accustomed to it, for though everything outside of them seems out of control, they can at least control their bitterness and make others pay for the perceived wrongs they have done. The majority of believers under emotional stress will either have an outer or inner explosion (which normally converts into depression), and with the passing of time all is forgotten. However, the bitter do neither of these; their explosions do not pass. They accept a lifestyle, a path that allows them the luxury of avoiding personal responsibility for the remainder of life. A child grows embittered toward the parent, and the more the child fails in life, the more anger he exhibits toward the parent. This is living in a distorted reality, a neurosis. When events begin to pressure the bitter people into accepting blame, they immediately recall all of the wrongs that have been done to them, once again avoiding responsibility. An interesting thing about Christians is that they often maintain their bitterness under the guise of being extremely spiritual, “so spiritual” that God has called them to suffer and be cut off from others, and yet the proof of carnality is that everyone who has disappointed them is covertly punished for the perceived failure.
Bitterness becomes a compulsion, the opposite of which would be the passive blame-taker, whose first response whenever life circumstances get the best of him is to roll over, play dead, and accept all responsibility. Each morning there is the comfort of the known that will take him through the day with the assumption that whatever happens, he is to blame. There is no fear of change. Similarly, but conversely, the bitter can be assured that no matter what, a problem is someone else’s fault.
Yes, bitterness is an addiction that can be likened to smoking cigarettes. When someone starts that habit, he can smoke when he desires: after dinner, at a party, or during leisure times. However, soon enough something very interesting happens. Instead of exercising free will, the smoker heeds the domineering command of a cigarette and goes whenever it calls. At this point, there is addiction. A glorious creature created to listen to the Father above listens instead to a cigarette below. The creature is a slave to a new master. When the misery of this revelation sets in, the smoker begins to make a series of vows and smokes hundreds or even thousands of what become known as “the last cigarette.” Soon there develops frustration, anger, and even depression.
At first bitterness is used as an excuse, but with the passing of time, bitterness uses its holder. The fact most evident, yet rarely discerned by the bitter, is that whoever they are bitter toward has become their god. While in the wilderness, Jesus heard Satan make the request to “fall down and worship me.” The word “worship” means to give attention. Jesus said no! Only God, the Father, would have His attention. Most of us have been hurt by others, but is making those others our gods by continuing to give them our attention not a greater tragedy? Do we want to worship those who offend, abuse, use, and neglect us?
Jesus gives commands not in order to make us more acceptable to God but to make us happy. Forgiving makes any person happy! When we forgive, we rule! When we do not forgive and become bitter, others rule us! The command to love is not for the good of others, but for our own good. What a deception the enemy imparts, that to obey will hinder our happiness. A paramedic once made the observation that he had never had an emergency call from a Bible study, yet he had received many calls from bars and parties. Does the disregard of the commands make us happy?
Bitterness is oppression. The embittered person is oppressed by the enemy, who has invested many hours of whispering about the supposed misery caused by others. The most predominant trait of the bitter is that he considers himself a victim, having had to suffer and go it alone without help, support, or respect. He is isolated, forced to a place of self-sufficiency. No one even cares, and he is angry.
This attitude of bitterness can begin with a dislike, or even hatred, of one’s mate, but soon turns into hatred of the opposite sex. Women are complainers, impossible to please, picky, manipulators, non-submissive, rebellious, and dominant; they only care about seeing a paycheck, they lack respect, and a man never knows what he is coming home to. To a bitter wife, men are proud, insensitive, arrogant, passive know-it-alls who only care about themselves, sex, and having their egos continually stroked; they are slow to fulfill their responsibilities and cannot do things right. Soon, both decide that they can live without sex, communication, approval, or support from their mates. I have personally discipled couples that mutually decided through bitterness to withdraw sexually from one another for periods of more than twenty-seven years, and some were pastors, at that! These attitudes will often be communicated to the children of the couple through various overt or covert messages, resulting in many today being fearful of the opposite sex.
The addiction of bitterness takes surprisingly little time to become a person’s comfort zone. It is actually easy to withdraw and put the mate under the magnifying glass, waiting for the next word or action that will confirm the negative assessment of the relationship and the hopeless state of the mate. I have been amazed how frustrated a bitter believer becomes at the suggestion that his mate may not be as bad as he believes; he hates to hear such a thing! And as I draw attention to the bitter one’s inability to love in spite of offenses, the conversation is immediately turned away from his failure back to the inexcusable behavior of the other. I can only ascertain that this type of person has every intention of remaining bitter.
Finding the way out of bitterness requires the revelation that the person toward whom we are bitter has become, through inappropriate attention, our god. Where there was one problem–the other person’s despised behavior–now there are two, for self-hatred also arises when worshipping someone that caused offense. The third problem occurs when the actions of the one toward whom we are bitter begin to control our actions and even our personality, making us a distortion, no longer ourselves. The behavior of the one that “made us bitter” is blamed for all behavior. “If only you knew what had happened to me, you would be acting even worse than I am right now.” “Of course I am not sleeping with you; do you not understand my pain?” “Of course I am in a bad mood; under similar circumstances you would be in a bad mood, too.” The person that caused the bitterness is in control of every aspect of the “sufferer’s” family and relationships. However, Jesus tells us to love an enemy and pray for those that persecute; by so doing, the enemy will remain the same, but we will walk away free.
I was told of a man who, upon hearing of the hurricane in New Orleans, immediately got in his truck to bring a family to his state and help them get started in a new life. He had trouble finding a black family that wanted to live with a strange white man from the north, let alone in his basement (they do not have basements in New Orleans). At last a pastor persuaded an old woman, her daughter, and granddaughter to go with the man. They arrived to discover the white man lived in a mansion, and the basement had been completely redone for them; it was a walkout basement with a beautiful view. The family had never been in such surroundings. Six weeks later, the white man found the old woman in the kitchen weeping. He approached her, put his arm around her, and said, “I am sorry! Are you homesick? I know it had to be hard to leave everyone you knew! Is there something here that you want changed that is making you uncomfortable or unhappy?” The old woman looked up with tears flowing and said, “None of those things are bothering me. See, I was raised to hate white people, and all my life I have done a good job of it. Yet your kindness has proven me wrong, and I am so sad that I would have acted and talked that way.” His love had broken the stronghold that bitterness had on her. Now her family is settled on the east coast, and the two families take turns annually hosting one another for Thanksgiving dinner!
I must repeat myself over and over again: Anything that can be done without Christ cannot be Christian. We cannot love an enemy but must ask Him to love the enemy; we receive the victory that He gives by simply walking across the room and loving. Often I will be in a place where someone has developed hatred toward me. Inviting Jesus along, I go over and start talking to the person, asking his opinions, what work he does, what about his children, his take on the government, and more. At first his head appears to be spinning with a real look of confusion, for on the one hand, it was settled in his mind and emotions that I was some kind of deceiving monster. On the other hand, I cannot be completely hopeless, because we have found common ground. This is Christian life; the first person to lose is the first person to win. Take up your freedom and walk away from bitterness.
Loss, Loss, and more Loss
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”—Matthew 7:13, 14
Once when preparing to retire for the evening at an old man’s house, I asked a parting question, “What do you think is the purpose of life?” He never hesitated, just kept walking and mumbled, “Death, death, and more death. Loss, loss, and more loss.” With that, the door to his bedroom closed. I laid in bed for several hours just meditating on what he said. Then I heard Jesus speak through the Scriptures, “Enter through the narrow gate, the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction.” I was then reminded of being in Viet Nam crawling through the tunnels that sprawled underneath the ground. The guide said that there was only one way in, and we had to leave behind all valuables, backpacks, cameras, and hats, because the way was just too small. Oh, how I wished I had not started that journey. At first I entered standing, and then the tunnel narrowed until it was pitch-black darkness. I was scooting along on my stomach, my shoulders and head were hitting the wall above me, and there was barely any air to breathe. Nor was there any turning back. After several minutes, we dropped into a rather large room (10x10x6), a storage area for everything needed to survive: rations, water, medical supplies, and safety. What a trip to get there, though. Then I discovered that this was the first of many such tunnels, with each one opening into a larger room that contained something the soldiers during the war would have needed. Some rooms had been very dangerous, because bombs had been cut into pieces and drug through the tunnels in order for the explosives to be removed, the steel smelted, and hand grenades made.
We have a few years on this planet, where our goal is not gain but loss. Today there are many “Christian Clubs” that promote the idea that we are to accumulate as much as possible, until in the end, it would take a wide path and train of elephants to carry all that was sought after and found. It would never be possible to carry pride, wealth, success, intelligence, superiority, victories over enemies, or titles on the narrow path; that path is not made to accommodate such things. One day, we will all reach the narrow path, and some will get on their hands and knees (a place they have often been) and pass through easily with the knowledge and revelation of Christ. Others will stand their dumbfounded, wondering what they are to do with their great line of amassed possessions. Again, the wrong thing can be said so many times that the right thing sounds wrong. Remember the Jews when they were so mad at Jesus for the pigs that ran over the cliff? My question would have been, “Why are you upset at losing the very thing you were never supposed to have had?” Many believers get depressed because they lose the very thing they should not have had. Some are so undone that the enemy whispers, “Suicide”; that shows a lot of pride. It is no fun to lose, and lose, and lose, but it is the path you have chosen, and though He is the only comfort on the narrow path, is He not more than sufficient? It is no fun to lose family, friends, kids, security, or a marriage. Keep on that narrow path, for it will open into a place that has all you need.
Marriage Under Attack
October 29, 2009 by admin
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Nothing is said in the Bible about marriage being under attack, the struggle of marriage, or the conflict in marriage; nor is there anything said about marriage and regret, marriage and happiness, or marriage and fulfillment. Basically, the main theme concerning marriage is that the two will become one flesh. Biblically, flesh is that part of man, who is made somewhat in the image of God, that wants to be God. This means that two “fleshly” people become one “flesh” and will attempt to be God. Well, only God could think of that! Two people yielding to God, wanting to be God, and working to make the other spouse into their image! Wow! At that point I can only say that the purpose of marriage is to make a person miserable and to reveal both self-centeredness and the desire to be God and rule over others. While that is unfolding, he is denying any blame as he casts himself and others into a living hell. Sounds like what I have been seeing; in the last twenty-four months I have encountered more Christian marriages under attack than in the previous ten years. I am not totally objective, I realize that, nor am I the answer man; Jesus is the Way to every answer. However, it amazes me that I could spend time with a husband and enjoy the fellowship or visit with his wife and enjoy the fellowship, but they cannot seem to spend one content hour together. Satan has so clouded the eyes of the believers that they only see the negatives and cannot see God. Amen, I understand the grief in women when they are living with a drunk, drug addict, child abuser, physical abuser, adulterer, and more (things Paul says that we ought not even talk about, and I am thankful that the Lord lets me sleep at night from some of the things I have heard). However, the things that I am hearing lately are completely petty. “You did not support me! You did not initiate intimacy, you do not court me, you only pick out the negatives, you do not support me with the children, you are someone different when we are out with others than at home, you are a fake as a believer, you do not pray with me, and you will not do what I ask you to do.“ Amen, every issue has some validity, but not grounds for bitterness, anger, hatred, emotional walls, and everything else that the believer is not to have even for an unbeliever! Is anyone ever ashamed of this behavior? There seems to be a genuine lack of communication among Christian couples; it has been replaced by a series of reactions. The world already offers us financial, social, and physical strain; do we want discord at home, too? Are we asking God, “What is the deal? What do You want me to do? Maybe I should hit the guy, and maybe I should love him.“ I do not know what God knows. I have been asking people to write, once each day for thirty days, something they love about their mates. They might last about ten days and then come up blank. However, they can write for sixty days all that is wrong with their mates. Attitude is everything. I believe that Jesus is coming, and therefore, no matter what happens in world politics, I am comforted. Do you believe that God brought your mate to reveal something in you? Let Him reveal the selfishness, the lack of love, the list keeping, the dissatisfaction that the flesh always harbors, and turn to Him. Get on your knees and say, “Jesus, what do You have for us? We are finished; we need a Source that lives outside us and inside us.” He is God, it is His responsibility, and He will come. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” Do we think that He did not love our mates? Listen, His coming is near, and there are three things a marriage needs: communication, common goals, and intimacy. Ask Him to show you where you have gone astray. Honestly, you did not marry your mate because he/she was a complete ass! You did not take vows while looking forward to the day that you would despise seeing the other entering the room. Intimacy in communication and in the physical will break down all barriers. Brothers and Sisters, we are in a battle with a voice that just will not shut up. We will win, and we are those that conquer because of our Lord who already won. One deathblow to self-will brings a refreshing rain on the garden of your relationship. Please follow Christ, take up the cross, deny yourself, and let your marriage flourish.
Both Hands Occupied
October 9, 2009 by Alex Mathew
Filed under Articles by Alex Matthew
BOTH HANDS OCCUPIED
Life should be a joy for all. That is one of the most intricate ‘shoulds’ of life! For life to be joyful there has to be freedom from wants and the means to live with meaning to ‘BE’. If life has to have some meaning it has to be livable with enjoyable content. Content is the sum total of what is received and what is made of the available inputs. Intelligently put to use, these factors are expected to be sufficient to make life worth a try.
But often life turns out to be hardened and complicated deprived of any joy. No one wants to have a hard life. No one wants to be dealing with conflict all the time. More often than not we are engaged in sorting out hardships and conflicts, large and small.
All of us seek comfort and try to gain it at any cost. In our efforts to gather comfort we make life harder by our chosen lifestyles. And then life often turns out to be burdened, weighing us down with heaviness of heart. But it does not have to be so if we learn the art of handling our burdens intelligently and shedding the weights that weigh us down.
We all go through life with two different baggages holding one in each hand. In one hand we hold the baggage of our ‘Past’ and in the other our ‘Unique Self.’ The size of the baggage that holds our past would depend on all that we have passed through, our interpretations of it and our reactions. The more we go through it, revise it, rejoice in it or reject, repent or react, the baggage keep increasing in bulk.
The unique self is the sum total of our identity formed from our inheritance, attitudes and reactions. In other words, it would depend very much on what we are born with and how we allow our experiences to influence our reactions to life. Our pattern of behavior that contributes to the formation of our unique self is controlled by many and variable factors.
We carry our past ‘History’ and our present ‘Unique Self’, unwittingly allowing the past to exert a large influence on the progress or regression we make in life.
We carry our past ‘History’ and our present ‘Unique Self’, unwittingly allowing the past to exert a large influence on the progress or regression we make in life. Imagine walking with two big baggages, one in each hand, and trying to enter any normal sized door. It is not easy. The problem is even more after gaining entry into any particular space we are not inclined or free to put down our baggage. We tenaciously hold on to our past and our personal dispositions which make us unique. Voluntarily giving up these things amount to losing control and that is a terrible threat. Giving up control is not easy. But accepting the fact that the Lord God is in control is the releasing truth that give us freedom to BE.
Past is deadweight around our necks till we allow the Lord to receive it from us.
Wherever we go, whatever we do, these baggage are our constant companions coming in our way and blocking our progress. Past is deadweight around our necks till we allow the Lord to receive it from us. The Lord Jesus specifically says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Mat.11: 28.
Our present dispositions and entrenched attitudes of our unique self caution us and allow us to take actions in selected and confined manners allowable within our limited perceptions. Our progress is impeded if the baggages are of unmanageable size and shape.
The sum total of what is said is that we limit ourselves in the strangle hold of our past and unique self. The limiting may mean lack of positive progress or movement in a wrong tangent leading to negativity.
The past of every person is distinctly different from others. We would have to deal with an infinite variety of experiences to make some meaningful generalization out of them. Greater and longer persevering study is called for making sense out of the infinite variety of individual experiences. It will be good for you to learn a new spelling for past. What is PAST is DEAD. No one should go around cuddling the past and spending precious time analyzing the past. Learn from the past and then burry it for good, for our Lord God has already cancelled our past sins and wrong doings. Why carry it and create impediment to our progress in life?
Your ‘Unique Self’ too can become a huge baggage if you do not see it as what it is and keep it in manageable size and shape. Every person is unique and generalizations are not easily possible here too. That would largely limit our understanding of the baggage problem. But we have to make a beginning somewhere if we are to get freedom from the limiting heaviness of these baggages that limit our progression in life.
I chose to talk about this subject because an understanding of the ‘unique self’ will help us to effectively deal with some typical problems faced by our children in school. Learn the art of burying the past and administering your ‘Unique Self’.
Everyone is unique, because everyone is created unique. A precise classification is impractical. For the sake of an easier understanding we will consider three major categories as THINKER, FEELER and DOER. The basic characteristics of the three groups are listed separately below.
Try to identify in which group you may fit in, based on these characteristics. Remember none is a pure ‘type’. You do not have to feel lost in case you seem to feel not distinctly belonging in any particular type. All of us are variable and interesting combinations with infinite possibilities.
THE THINKER
• High mental energy.
• The thinker is honest and truthful.
• The thinker is analytical and can get lost in details.
• Loves order and over concerned about security.
• Loves quiet time and be alone for some time. (Danger of exceeding limits at times.)
• Tends to cultivate only one to three close friends.
• Tends to be melancholic and at risk of feeling inferior.
• Refuse to recognize own talents and ability, even when proven.
• Knows all that is bad about oneself.
• That quality makes the thinker to be a ‘blame-collector’.
• Perfectionist tendencies causing them to demand perfection from others too.
• Mood is determined by what is going on in the thoughts.
• Must want to think about something at all times, prefers reading before going to bed.
• Preoccupation with thinking makes the person prone to brooding and anxiety attacks.
• Not quick with advice or disapproval.
• But hoards all hurts and prefers to withdraw.
• Reluctant to share the sad thoughts occupying the mind and prefers to suffer alone.
• Extreme fear of the unknown.
• Reluctant to take risks and therefore tends to be a late bloomer.
• Likes to follow an inner list to do and a higher standard.
• Internalizes anger and does not indulge in explosive outbursts.
THE FEELER
• Relationships are more important than anything.
• Highly subjective and the ‘I’ is a major preoccupation.
• On the look out for ‘rejecting’ attitudes in others.
• Easily gets hurt and pouts when hurt.
• Ready to follow the morals of the crowd, easily gets into trouble.
• Is liable to be used by others.
• Life is an on going party whenever possible.
• Makes others feel important and cared.
• Very keen on pleasing people.
• Will go to the extend of allowing others to fail oneself.
• Good at manipulating others to have own way.
• Good empathizers and sensitive to the needs of others.
• Hardly any control over explosive bouts.
• Easily motivated.
• Very enthusiastic but unlikely to persevere.
• Desires popularity and tends to invite attention.
• Will readily reject anyone who indicates distance.
• Lavish in expressions.
• Prefer to talk ad infinitum and the subject is often ‘I’.
• Self-indulgent and easily gathers self-pity.
• Powerful ‘blame-giver’ whenever irritated.
THE DOER
• The doer is strong-willed and pushy.
• Gets things done through others.
• Never rests without accomplishing what is set forth.
• Easily projects confidence and wants to be ‘in-command’.
• Prefers independence.
• Does not suffer fools and lazy bums.
• Adept at twisting realities to suit the task at hand.
• In all stories ‘I’ am the hero.
• Obstacles are usually invisible.
• Many iron in the fire and makes anyone near to tend his fire.
• Inconsistent yet hates to be bothered by facts.
• Welcomes and enjoys challenges.
• Relatively out of touch with the hurts of others.
• Quick to explode and it is OK if others react exploding.
• Aggressive and energetic.
• Would tend to be creative but speed is the watchword.
• Others are ‘tools’ to accomplish objectives.
• Accepts aggression.
• Enjoys a good fight and tends to forget.
• Does not waste time in brooding.
• No qualms about blaming others.
• Powerful ‘task-giver’.
It does not matter in which group you may find your identity. Make it a point to choose what you think desirable and honorable according to you and in agreement with the Scripture, and then live it fully to your potential. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things…put it into practice” Phil. 4: 8, 9.
Keep both your hands free and clean to act effectively to get ahead in life.
Alex Mathew (Adapted from Mike Wells’ teachings)
Complaining? Stop and Enjoy the Lord’s Presence!
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Deut. 28:47-48, Because you did not serve the LORD your God with joy and a glad heart, for the abundance of all things; therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the LORD will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in the lack of all things; and He will put an iron yoke on your neck until He has destroyed you.
If we are complaining, we are not enjoying the Lord’s presence. This statement can take a lifetime to move from head to heart. However, as we dwell on it, it will make more and more sense. We did not become Christians to work for God or to please God; the work has already been done, and the Father is well pleased with Jesus. We became Christians for God, and God alone. As the understanding of our position in Him expands, we see that His presence is in us, just as it was in the Holy of Holies. Christ Himself dwells in us! We are temples of the living God (II Corinthians 6:16)! All of life’s experiences have been moving us toward that revelation, and once we have it, everything changes. We can enjoy His presence in heavy traffic, in a hospital room, at a birth or a funeral, waiting for a taxi, sitting before the banker, walking or riding, or whatever we do. His presence is an absolute, and the peace of it is never to be surrendered to a situation. If we are looking without, we will find much to complain about. If we are looking behind the veil and seeing His presence with us in the midst of what we thought was a place of discomfort, we can have great joy. Once again we see that on this earth we make our own heaven or hell.
The Source of a Decision: Fear or the Loss of Peace
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Daniel 4:1-3, “Nebuchadnezzar the king to all the peoples, nations, and men of every language that live in all the earth: ‘May your peace abound! It has seemed good to me to declare the signs and wonders which the Most High God has done for me. How great are His signs and how mighty are His wonders! His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom and His dominion is from generation to generation.’”
There is something called buyer’s remorse after purchasing something, like an automobile, and then wondering the next day if the right thing were done. If the doubt lingers long enough, it will turn into fear. Sometimes this is a valid experience. Many find that they have been pressured into making a purchase they later regret; they actually did make a bad decision. However, the problem is that an emotion like buyer’s remorse can have at its source fear or a lack of peace, and both will feel the same way. When I purchased my house (the best investment I ever made), I was filled with fear. “How will I make the payments? What if I lose the house?” I had the peace of God when I bought the house, but the enemy and my humanity (wanting to be a success at playing God) attempted to prompt me to surrender my peace to the situation. Fear began directing me rather than the peace of God. I can have fear and the peace of God at the same time; I just need to recognize the difference. I must ask myself, “Was God leading you? Did you not lift the situation up to Him? Is it not impossible to lead sheep that are not moving? Isn’t it His job to take me to the right place?” Then I can see that my decision was made in peace, and I cannot let fear drive me, even if the situation does not work out as I thought that it should. For example, what if I lose my job and cannot make the house payments? That does not mean that I was not listening on the day that He led me to buy it. Some will say that this is a cop-out. Well, amen. We Christians are the only ones allowed a cop-out, because our God causes all things to work together for the good.
Christians have made mistakes and at times been bad witnesses of the Truth, but they are the only positive in a negative world. Again, the world takes someone that is a .5% success, puts him under a magnifying glass, and tries to make it look as if he were a 100% success without Christ. I have been accused of tearing down the accomplishments of non-Christians. Well, amen. I do not do it by way of judgment, but to prove the point that these people were not the successes without Christ that we were led to believe they were. Also, those who accuse me of this do the very same thing with anyone and everything Christian. I do not buy it. Without Christ’s life in man, we would be in the dark ages. It is also interesting that Christians are the only ones whose belief system allows for them to take criticism. Try to criticize a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or a communist, and see how far it goes. It will not be heard or accepted. Since Christians are the ones who listen, they get the majority of complaints directed toward them. Watch a group like Amnesty International make more noise about a single instance of discrimination within a Christian country than it does a wholesale slaughter in a non-Christian country. Why? The Christian has a higher standard, that being the behavior of Christ. The Christian is sensitive toward others because he is cognizant of having received mercy, and he will show it in return. The problem is that the world is constantly making an appeal to the wrong people. Christ and His family simply are not messing up the world.
Following the Cross
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
Today is Good Friday. I went into an Eastern Orthodox Church to worship. They have such rich rituals and observances on all Feast days. The Church service started at 5.30 am but I reached only by 7.30 am. The worship and various rituals went on till 3.30 pm and then there was a traditional community meal. The whole drama of Crucifixion was enacted and at 3.00 pm a big black cross, symbolic of the body of the Lord was interned behind the Alter. It will remain there till Sunday early morning. At 2.00 am on Sunday the Cross will be taken out of the vault behind the alter and that will signal the Easter celebration. The whole series of events were very absorbing and all the participants went about it in dead seriousness.
What I want to share with you is something that happened in a procession around the Church today. Towards the end of the service the whole congregation went around the Church three times in a procession. The Priest was in the front with the Cross on his shoulder, reenacting the ‘Way of the Cross’. The cross was a fair sized one and was visible high above the heads of the people. I was walking with a special friend Joshua, a four year old child, grandson of a friend of mine. We were at the far end of the procession. Making conversation with the him I asked “Where are we really going Joshua?” With out wasting a moment he replied ” Don’t worry. We only have to follow the Cross.”
I could not talk for a long time. Joshua was curiously looking up at me. I kept looking at the Cross far ahead of us lifted up above on the shoulder of the Priest. I wish I would be able to keep my eyes on the Cross and follow it ALWAYS!
Humility/Fullness made visible in Christ
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
“If any one has anything to do with Christ Jesus, let him/her have His humility first”. I make this sweeping statement in every Abiding Life Basic Training Course. It is stating that No one can do anything in Christ Jesus without His humility.
In the ‘One Example’ He gave His disciples on the day before He was crucified, He told them “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you will do it” John.13: 15,17. That ‘one example’ was washing the feet of the disciples.
Refering to the happening in the upper room on that day Paul says ” Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” Phil.2:5. Jesus Himself referred to His attitude “Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle and humble in heart” Mat.11: 29
I often wonder how is it possible for Jesus to manage this level of humility! It came to me on last Sunday (10/24/04) afternoon while I was teaching a group of Secular Counselor Trainees in a ‘Christian’ Counselor training facility run by Catholic priests. We were discussing marital oneness and how a wife/husband can accept the spouse without conditions. Unless a person is fully himself/herself, that person will never be able to accept others fully. Then I was asked how does one know he/she if fully himself/herself?
We can see ourselves only when we are in front of an appropriate background.
I turned to the white board and on that board was a pictorial repesenation of marital oneness. On indicating this picture they all agreed they could clearly see the two black parrellel lines with a circle for a head.
“How does it become clear enough to be seen?” After some hesitation and a few wild guesses someone said it is because the whitboard is behind. Through that we established the principle that without the background the foreground does not become clear.
We can see ourselves only when we are in front of an appropriate background. We have no existence if we miss our background. Therein we know what we are and in whom we are. Our fullness in Him is visible only when we see ourselves in Him. In Him we are fully ourselves. A person fully himself/herself and knows that he/she is fully himself/herself can afford to be humble. It was not easy getting across this idea to a secular audience. I feel very comfortable presenting this fact to you who are Abiding in Him.
Therefore, if we are in Christ we are bound to be humble and all that we do would be from that base of humility.
Q.Do you agree with the otherside of Col. 1:27; that is, I in Christ, the hope of glory?
The Need For Suffering
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
There are things learned in suffering that cannot be learned in comfort, and therefore man is in need of suffering!
Matthew 9: 20 ”And a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak.”
We have said it many times, but it bears repeating. There are things learned in suffering that cannot be learned in comfort, and therefore man is in need of suffering! It is interesting to hear the stories from some of those who experienced prison in Siberia under the Soviet Union. The reported suffering was so intense, and in fact, many were purposely taken to Siberia to die. Despite no shelter, food, or clothing, some survived. Amid such intense suffering, some created their own very small world of comfort. Someone had the idea of making shoes out of potato sacks with paper placed in the bottom for insulation. That netted a little comfort. Others discovered how to catch the little snowbirds for an added protein delight. Again, a little more comfort was gained. Some discovered how to make charcoal drawings from the ashes for a little creative comfort. Man simply cannot thrive with just suffering. There are many witnesses to the fact that some simply lost the will to live without some comfort.
Many in the world would love to experience Americans’ level of suffering.
In the same way, however, there is a need for some suffering. Man cannot live in comfort alone. In fact, the comfortable Western world is in such a need for suffering that it actually manufactures it. Because I travel where people do consistently suffer, it sometimes seems ridiculous to me to see what an American can call suffering. Many in the world would love to experience Americans’ level of suffering. There are howls over the most vague injustices, the unending pictures of the homeless, the slightest perceived infractions of rights, and the inequities of society. The media is nearly comical in its pursuit of the discovery of some perceived suffering. It only confirms the inherent need man must have for some kind of suffering. Those who never suffer lack character. I often see kids who at age 20 are sitting around waiting for the perfect job. They don’t want to suffer with something that isn’t perfect. Can the caste-born man in India imagine a twenty-something without a job because it wouldn’t be fun? We learn so much of what Christ can be in us by doing the things that are not fun. Was it fun for God to be in a human body? Was it fun for Him to provide for a family? Was it fun to have so little of a hearing among His peers? And yet in all those non-fun activities we see a victorious Man we want living in us. The Western world in its shallow pursuit of comfort has lost character. Having an enemy is suffering, but learning that Jesus can love an enemy through us is sheer delight. We need suffering, and I will tell you something that is known by many already: Suffering is coming! It is coming to the West! It is not to be feared, for its purpose will be the perfecting of the hearts that are for Him. Remember when it comes that our brothers and sisters who live amid suffering in a multitude of countries witness to the fact that God is greater.
You Are Dying For The Sins of Others!
October 8, 2009 by Mike Wells
Filed under Articles by Mike Wells
None of us have flesh that wants to die for the sins of others.
II Cor. 4: 7-12, But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 8we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12So death works in us, but life in you.
Col. 1:24, Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body, which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions.
What an odd thing for Paul to say, “filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions,” and yet every believer should be able to say this very thing. In the fullness of time, Jesus came and died for all sins past, present, and those in the future. We are now in Jesus, and Jesus is in us. Therefore, we share in Him in every way. His salvation is ours, His victory is ours, and the fellowship that He has with the Father is ours. But so is His suffering for sin. There are many days in which a believer will die for the sins of others. We experience the death that has come from the sins of those who have long ago passed away from the presence of the earth. I can’t walk about Africa or India without seeing and experiencing the sins of those who hundreds of years ago oppressed the people. We wear those sins. In the present, we suffer because of the sins of those in our society. The disgruntled teen shoots a gun in your window. And one day we will see the sins of the future. In a simple practical illustration, an automobile driver cuts in front of you and is cursing you. Your response is to bless those who curse you, so you just wore the other’s sin. Someone in your family offends you, it is unmerited, and you take it, die, bury it, and say nothing. You have suffered for that one’s sin. The rebellious child sneaks out and in pride is quite happy, and yet the parent hurts and wears the sin. We don’t want to die for the sins of others. We don’t want our flesh to share with His and come under the cross. We want to rebel against the injustice. But we must, and we must learn to do it in Him joyfully. Until His return, as long is He is on this earth in the form of His body, the Church, the eternal now will bear in His body afflictions. We are that body and must bear these afflictions. I remember the man in Africa and the story of his vision. He was in heaven, invited to eat at Jesus’ table, where there was food that wasn’t exactly food. There was a bowl of Christ’s righteousness, a plate of Christ’s love, or a bowl of Christ’s holiness. He sat down, intending to eat, but instead looked at Jesus and immediately began to curse Him. He thought to himself, I must have a demon! However, Jesus knew what was in his mind, looked at him, and said, “You don’t have a demon, it is your flesh not wanting to come under my control. Sit and eat; it will be quieted!” None of us have flesh that wants to die for the sins of others. However, it must if we are to rejoice. When we are offended unjustly, we must bear that sin, that affliction, and that suffering. It is all part of being in Him.
