“And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” Gen 20:2

For those of you who are married, what are some of the words and concepts that stir in your mind when you hear the words “wife” or “husband”? When I say that I have a wife or call Betty “my wife,” many things come to mind, for there are myriad issues associated with the term “wife.” I think of the children, finances, the home, the emotional, physical, and mental aspects of our relationship, future and past events, good and bad, commitment, oneness, pains and joys, holidays, babies, ultimate goals, and more. After all, she is my wife.

There is much written on the relationship of husband and wife. However, I want to investigate an overlooked aspect of marriage, that of brother and sister in Christ. This is a greater relationship than marriage. In heaven there will be no marriage, for the earthly relationship of marriage will end on earth. “For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” (Mark 12:25)

When I look at my wife and call her sister, everything changes. Just as the word “wife” brings with it a multitude of feelings, situations, and actions, so does the word “sister.” She is my sister in Christ; I am her brother in Christ. Those two words, “sister and brother,” move us to a different realm with completely different issues and goals. Once I call her “sister,” I acknowledge that she is not my own; she has a Father and is a member of a family. As my sister we have a goal that goes above and beyond that of a married couple. God is the goal and the desire of our hearts; we must encourage each other in Him. Who did what and said what is not of ultimate importance; He is. All of the little annoyances of the day don’t matter. Earthly mistakes are not the issue. Security is not in finances or who was wisest with the money. Together, He is our goal. When offended, we recognize that we deserve to be offended until we cannot be offended, for of what use will we be in the kingdom if we still get offended? I can’t judge my sister, for, ”Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and stand he will, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” (Rom. 14:4)

There is something higher than marriage for a couple, there is another dimension, and there is a better place from which to relate. Sometime today, turn to your wife and call her “Sister,” or to your husband and say “Brother.” For too long we have only seen our mates as wife or husband, and there is more.

What does this passage mean to you? Many are beating themselves up over their sin, so much so that I assume they live under the Law. It is obvious that they believe they are justified by behavior. Abraham understood the secret: without faith, the Law cannot be birthed.

Without first believing in God, Abraham would never have received the commands of God. I wouldn’t listen to any of the commands of the Hindu gods simply because I don’t believe they exist. Law without faith gives birth to sin. For example, if I believe in the love of God, knowing full well that all He tells me is for my good, I will easily and readily keep the command to bless those who curse me. It is simple. However, if I don’t believe in the love of God, I will read the command to bless those who curse, realize that I don’t do that, and not believing that it is for my good, I will find a way around the command. “I don’t have to love them, for they have gone too far.” The Law that was to bless me (if birthed in faith, in the love of God) now becomes the thing by which I am condemned; the Law, without faith, will always give birth to sin.

It is easy to see how Abraham was walking in the greater way of faith; even without the Law he was justified. Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness. Sweeter words were never spoken. I determined long ago to spend my time in the love of God and not in the Law. As I have discovered the love of God, the command has been found to be easy. In fact, I refuse to listen to the Law unless it is in the context of faith in Him and His love.

The Law is good if birthed in faith, and moving deeply into the faith of Jesus brings a higher life than living in the Law, for faith in Jesus will lead to an expression of exactly Jesus. Amazing! Without the Law, sin is dead (Rm. 7:8). Sin counts on man’s boastful pride attempting to keep the Law without faith. This accounts for so much immorality in legalistic churches, where the emphasis is on performance and little or nothing is said of faith. A dating couple comes to the office, they have been sleeping together, and they are under great condemnation. Is the solution to have them stop? If they stop because of the command without believing in the Love of God that gave the command, they will continue to struggle and “slip up.” If they see the Love of God in the command and believe in Him who gives the command, the struggle will cease.

If a child is told that by working he will obtain a bicycle, and the child believes the parent, the work will be a great joy. But what if the child does not believe the parent? Will the work be done grudgingly or with joy? And working grudgingly is sin. If the child were never given the promise, the child wouldn’t be working grudgingly, and there would be no sin. In the end, that child would be better if he had never heard the promise. The problem is simple: the Law was given to men of faith, and men of unbelief have attempted to keep it–which they cannot do, for Law is birthed in faith—and the result is sin and condemnation. Now, Romans 7 becomes quite clear; the battle described is not the battle of the old man against the new man, nor a battle that exists before conversion or after conversion. It is describing an absolute battle between faith and Law, a battle that includes the unbeliever (going to hell) and the unbelieving believer (going to heaven.)

Security only comes in faith

At any time, either the unbeliever or the unbelieving believer can perceive, with the mind, the Law of God and want to keep it, for they know that it is good. Yet, because of lack of belief in God, the entire being cannot keep the Law, the person is divided, and the end result is sin and condemnation. Don’t think that the way out is recommitment, harder work, rededication, vows, knowledge, or strength; the way out is faith in Jesus. “So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.” The Gentiles have pursued the promise by faith and gotten it, but the Jews sought by Law and lost it. “For with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.” Where do you begin in your struggle? Stop fighting the Law and start confessing Jesus with your mouth each day. Before you go to sleep, do not let your thoughts end at the Law you have not kept. Instead, let your thoughts end at Jesus, in whom you believe. This brings us to the final “hiccup!”

Security only comes in faith. Regardless of whether you are a Calvinist or an Armenian, to attempt to find security in works will only bring about insecurity. These two camps become one under the Law. Read Romans 7 and think of it differently. Paul is talking about living in the Law and how impossible it is to live so. The Law reveals what I didn’t know was sin, and then it doesn’t give me the power to obey. After the knowledge, I find myself doing the very thing I don’t want to do. This passage applies to all that live by the Law.