BOTH HANDS OCCUPIED

Life should be a joy for all. That is one of the most intricate ‘shoulds’ of life! For life to be joyful there has to be freedom from wants and the means to live with meaning to ‘BE’. If life has to have some meaning it has to be livable with enjoyable content. Content is the sum total of what is received and what is made of the available inputs. Intelligently put to use, these factors are expected to be sufficient to make life worth a try.

But often life turns out to be hardened and complicated deprived of any joy. No one wants to have a hard life. No one wants to be dealing with conflict all the time. More often than not we are engaged in sorting out hardships and conflicts, large and small.

All of us seek comfort and try to gain it at any cost. In our efforts to gather comfort we make life harder by our chosen lifestyles. And then life often turns out to be burdened, weighing us down with heaviness of heart. But it does not have to be so if we learn the art of handling our burdens intelligently and shedding the weights that weigh us down.

We all go through life with two different baggages holding one in each hand. In one hand we hold the baggage of our ‘Past’ and in the other our ‘Unique Self.’ The size of the baggage that holds our past would depend on all that we have passed through, our interpretations of it and our reactions. The more we go through it, revise it, rejoice in it or reject, repent or react, the baggage keep increasing in bulk.

The unique self is the sum total of our identity formed from our inheritance, attitudes and reactions. In other words, it would depend very much on what we are born with and how we allow our experiences to influence our reactions to life. Our pattern of behavior that contributes to the formation of our unique self is controlled by many and variable factors.

We carry our past ‘History’ and our present ‘Unique Self’, unwittingly allowing the past to exert a large influence on the progress or regression we make in life.

We carry our past ‘History’ and our present ‘Unique Self’, unwittingly allowing the past to exert a large influence on the progress or regression we make in life. Imagine walking with two big baggages, one in each hand, and trying to enter any normal sized door. It is not easy. The problem is even more after gaining entry into any particular space we are not inclined or free to put down our baggage. We tenaciously hold on to our past and our personal dispositions which make us unique. Voluntarily giving up these things amount to losing control and that is a terrible threat. Giving up control is not easy. But accepting the fact that the Lord God is in control is the releasing truth that give us freedom to BE.

Past is deadweight around our necks till we allow the Lord to receive it from us.

Wherever we go, whatever we do, these baggage are our constant companions coming in our way and blocking our progress. Past is deadweight around our necks till we allow the Lord to receive it from us. The Lord Jesus specifically says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Mat.11: 28.

Our present dispositions and entrenched attitudes of our unique self caution us and allow us to take actions in selected and confined manners allowable within our limited perceptions. Our progress is impeded if the baggages are of unmanageable size and shape.

The sum total of what is said is that we limit ourselves in the strangle hold of our past and unique self. The limiting may mean lack of positive progress or movement in a wrong tangent leading to negativity.

The past of every person is distinctly different from others. We would have to deal with an infinite variety of experiences to make some meaningful generalization out of them. Greater and longer persevering study is called for making sense out of the infinite variety of individual experiences. It will be good for you to learn a new spelling for past. What is PAST is DEAD. No one should go around cuddling the past and spending precious time analyzing the past. Learn from the past and then burry it for good, for our Lord God has already cancelled our past sins and wrong doings. Why carry it and create impediment to our progress in life?

Your ‘Unique Self’ too can become a huge baggage if you do not see it as what it is and keep it in manageable size and shape. Every person is unique and generalizations are not easily possible here too. That would largely limit our understanding of the baggage problem. But we have to make a beginning somewhere if we are to get freedom from the limiting heaviness of these baggages that limit our progression in life.

I chose to talk about this subject because an understanding of the ‘unique self’ will help us to effectively deal with some typical problems faced by our children in school. Learn the art of burying the past and administering your ‘Unique Self’.

Everyone is unique, because everyone is created unique. A precise classification is impractical. For the sake of an easier understanding we will consider three major categories as THINKER, FEELER and DOER. The basic characteristics of the three groups are listed separately below.

Try to identify in which group you may fit in, based on these characteristics. Remember none is a pure ‘type’. You do not have to feel lost in case you seem to feel not distinctly belonging in any particular type. All of us are variable and interesting combinations with infinite possibilities.

THE THINKER

• High mental energy.
• The thinker is honest and truthful.
• The thinker is analytical and can get lost in details.
• Loves order and over concerned about security.
• Loves quiet time and be alone for some time. (Danger of exceeding limits at times.)
• Tends to cultivate only one to three close friends.
• Tends to be melancholic and at risk of feeling inferior.
• Refuse to recognize own talents and ability, even when proven.
• Knows all that is bad about oneself.
• That quality makes the thinker to be a ‘blame-collector’.
• Perfectionist tendencies causing them to demand perfection from others too.
• Mood is determined by what is going on in the thoughts.
• Must want to think about something at all times, prefers reading before going to bed.
• Preoccupation with thinking makes the person prone to brooding and anxiety attacks.
• Not quick with advice or disapproval.
• But hoards all hurts and prefers to withdraw.
• Reluctant to share the sad thoughts occupying the mind and prefers to suffer alone.
• Extreme fear of the unknown.
• Reluctant to take risks and therefore tends to be a late bloomer.
• Likes to follow an inner list to do and a higher standard.
• Internalizes anger and does not indulge in explosive outbursts.

THE FEELER

• Relationships are more important than anything.
• Highly subjective and the ‘I’ is a major preoccupation.
• On the look out for ‘rejecting’ attitudes in others.
• Easily gets hurt and pouts when hurt.
• Ready to follow the morals of the crowd, easily gets into trouble.
• Is liable to be used by others.
• Life is an on going party whenever possible.
• Makes others feel important and cared.
• Very keen on pleasing people.
• Will go to the extend of allowing others to fail oneself.
• Good at manipulating others to have own way.
• Good empathizers and sensitive to the needs of others.
• Hardly any control over explosive bouts.
• Easily motivated.
• Very enthusiastic but unlikely to persevere.
• Desires popularity and tends to invite attention.
• Will readily reject anyone who indicates distance.
• Lavish in expressions.
• Prefer to talk ad infinitum and the subject is often ‘I’.
• Self-indulgent and easily gathers self-pity.
• Powerful ‘blame-giver’ whenever irritated.

THE DOER

• The doer is strong-willed and pushy.
• Gets things done through others.
• Never rests without accomplishing what is set forth.
• Easily projects confidence and wants to be ‘in-command’.
• Prefers independence.
• Does not suffer fools and lazy bums.
• Adept at twisting realities to suit the task at hand.
• In all stories ‘I’ am the hero.
• Obstacles are usually invisible.
• Many iron in the fire and makes anyone near to tend his fire.
• Inconsistent yet hates to be bothered by facts.
• Welcomes and enjoys challenges.
• Relatively out of touch with the hurts of others.
• Quick to explode and it is OK if others react exploding.
• Aggressive and energetic.
• Would tend to be creative but speed is the watchword.
• Others are ‘tools’ to accomplish objectives.
• Accepts aggression.
• Enjoys a good fight and tends to forget.
• Does not waste time in brooding.
• No qualms about blaming others.
• Powerful ‘task-giver’.

It does not matter in which group you may find your identity. Make it a point to choose what you think desirable and honorable according to you and in agreement with the Scripture, and then live it fully to your potential. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things…put it into practice” Phil. 4: 8, 9.

Keep both your hands free and clean to act effectively to get ahead in life.

Alex Mathew (Adapted from Mike Wells’ teachings)

Romans 6:6-7, Knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin.

Many view slavery to sin as analogous to a machine and a driver. A machine has no will of its own, being completely dominated and controlled by the driver, who turns it on, moves the handles, expects response from the machine, and turns it back off. This is the “life” of a machine; its state of being without a will, without the ability to choose, shows a true example of passivity. Many unbelievers and believers alike have embraced the philosophy toward the slavery of sin wherein sin is the driver and the unbeliever or believer is nothing more than a machine. Sin has complete control over the unbeliever or the believer, who in turn must yield to its dictates. This view of life is soul killing in that it strips man of all hope. If one cannot choose, why even get out of bed? Why keep moving forward to a pre-determined judgment? When those in the world say that their sexual orientation is pre-determined, they have just confessed to being a hopeless machine slave. To convince a believer that he has an addiction is to persuade him that he has no choice. What, then, is there to do but allow sin to turn his switch to on, move him in its direction, and turn him off at its bidding? Oddly, the heterosexual is told that he or she can say no to sex, but the homosexual cannot.

We are not machines, and sin is not the driver. Unlike the piece of machinery, we have free will. However, our Creator, the Master, has set the parameters of our choices. Though thus limited in our choices, we still have choice. As a slave a person can work or not work, live or be killed, eat or not eat, sin or not sin, love or not love. There is a lot that a slave can do and a lot that a slave cannot do. Certainly he cannot leave. Spiritually, sin might be the master, but still the person can choose to do good (follow the Law) or choose to sin (disobey the Law). Now, sin does not sit on a believer or unbeliever controlling; instead, sin manipulates by appealing to pride and the desires of the flesh. Sin cannot control; it is not allowed to do so. Sin gets its adrenaline rush from manipulating someone to choose against God, choose sin, or choose the keeping of the Law. Anyone can simply say “no” to sin. I have seen and met unbelievers that one day said “no” to this or that sin; they meant it and it stuck. How much more empowered is the believer? Sin is a big annoyance, it has the power to deceive, and it is relentless. When someone is the slave of sin, all choices are calculated by sin to serve sin. However, the capability is still there to choose, or how could an unbeliever choose Christ? Once Christ is chosen, a person is taken out of the dominion of sin and placed in the Kingdom of God. He is still a slave (serving a wonderful Master!). However, the parameters are much grander and the choices far more varied. A slave still must choose. We read in John 5:19, “the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.” Jesus did do something; He chose to do nothing on His own. That is not passivity.

I once finished a meeting and was verbally attacked by another. I did something: I prayed, I listened, I rested, and I heard nothing from Jesus, so I said nothing. It appeared to others that I did nothing, but I was actually doing a lot of choosing. As a slave of righteousness, I can do a lot of choosing. At other times I have actively done nothing by waiting and listening, and He spoke. In those instances I spoke what I heard, and it was redemptive, as Jesus always is. Again, it is soul killing if as a believer I think I am a machine without free will. I am a slave to Christ, but I do not just sit around waiting for Jesus to get in the driver’s seat. I work within the parameters He has set for me, his slave, and I have so many choices and freedoms that He actually calls me His friend, His beloved, His brother, and His bride. This slave must put one foot in front of the other and walk by faith. This slave must deny his lying emotions. There are many things that my Master will not do for me, because it is His will that I do them for myself, and I am to obey my beautiful Master. What a wonderful kingdom is His; what a great day it is to be a slave. Now, the old slave died, so sin can no longer lay any claim whatsoever on me as a believer. If sin wants to grab back the old slave, it will just end up with a handful of spiritual dust.

A prominent philosophy that is expounded is that of fatalism. Simply put, it teaches that life is meaningless since everyone ceases to exist, and man is powerless to change that. Therefore, if you are of a mind to, take everything that looks good to you, or just suicide out of the mess.

Solomon examines this approach in detail. In fatalism, choice is not an issue; as man travels toward nonexistence, what is chosen–good or bad–cannot be an issue. We ask ourselves the question, “Are there absolutes in life?” We concluded that there were two. Faith is an absolute. Every single person lives in faith, for it is impossible not to make some kind of statement that shows belief in something that cannot be seen. Second, fact is an absolute. Fact is not any individual’s perception because mankind, independently of one another, will observe the same thing. All men with functioning eyes have seen the sun. Therefore, the sun is not perception but fact. Consequently, there are two absolutes on the earth, faith and fact. Where faith and fact meet we will find truth.

A philosophical system that has only faith is as erroneous as one that only has fact. To simply say, “I believe,” is error. To simply say, “I have the facts,” is error. Truth can only exist where there are both. Hence, what one believes must be proven by the facts. Fatalism is error, for it believes that man ceases to exist. It dose not have the facts to prove it.

There is only one system wherein faith and fact meet perfectly. Actually, it is not a system, but a person: Jesus! In Him we see faith and fact flowing perfectly together to form The Truth! What we are asked to believe is proven in the facts of daily life. It isn’t right for someone to ask you to believe without facts or to walk in the facts without faith. When Jesus appeared to the five hundred, there was a perfect blending of faith, as they were awaiting Him, and fact, He was raised from the grave. In Christ these two absolutes merge, and we have the confidence that there is something beyond the grave.

It is believed by those who need to make a choice that they cannot. We believe that it is impossible in certain areas of our lives to choose to be different. Many simply believe that they are stuck with their obsessions, addictions, anger, self-righteousness and all the other deeds of the flesh.

They are like the person standing outside of their house in the snow, holding the key to the locked door, and screaming, “Would someone please let me in!” How can the believer be stuck, be locked out of victory, when they are the only one holding the key?

Let me illustrate. One man said to me, “I am addicted to porno!” At that, I responded, “I bet your family is sick of watching porno with you!” He replied, “Oh no, I never look at it around them!” My question is simple, how can he be addicted if he can choose when and where he watches the porno? How can a drug addict not be able to choose against the drugs when he chooses to purchase it and chooses to do it out of sight?

We hate to be confronted with this truth but we are doing exactly what we want, exactly what we choose to do! We are not unable to choose; we simply don’t want to choose the right thing. We are in unbelief and are constantly choosing. We have to pick between the words of Jesus and the voice of the flesh.

We CHOOSE the flesh. It is an inescapable fact. We are where we are today, all because of personal choice. Some will argue, “It wasn’t my choice to be molested, to have an alcoholic parent, to be emotionally and verbally abused, to be abandoned, to be unloved, and more.” All quite true and at first you reacted out of instinct. However, after maturing you have chosen what your reaction/lifestyle toward the event will be. After getting the proper information we may choose to remain victims, to not see God working, to blame others, to make those around us miserable, to make others pay, to live in self-hatred, to try to undo the past by duplicating it.

Two people have a common, horrific, event in their lives. Years later, one is sweet and the other sour. Why? We want to avoid the obvious, we want to give excuses but the fact is choice. One believed choice was greater than the past. The other did not.

Leadership is an interesting thing. In the Bible we see that some are born to be leaders while others are chosen to lead. However, in the family every man is commanded to lead. The world in contrast has taught that the family is ruled via majority. The media has imposed upon men the idea that children should be consulted before making decisions, that the wife need only submit to the husband who is in mutual submission.

As an Irish brother once exclaimed, “What passage in the Bible are these teachers using?” Good question. Accepting this definition of leadership has produced a generation of Christian fathers who are what might commonly be called passive dads.

The father is not to rule through consensus; he does not take the counsel of children. Rather, he seeks God for guidance, and he will find it in every situation. A leader has followers; followers will always have high expectations of the leader, and rightfully so. When we submit to a leader we desire that he be better than us, for our identity becomes intertwined in his. If I submit to a righteous man, then my self-esteem goes up. I feel good about being his servant. In fact, I see the glory of being subjected to him. I respect, admire, and appreciate him. I also want his direction. My hope is that he might lead me to the place where he is.

Obviously, he knows the way and is respected for it. When he asks of me things I do not understand, I obey, for I know that somehow it will benefit me. Therefore, the two most frustrating things to a follower is a leader that cannot be respected and one who will not lead.

Some, because of a good family setting, have had character chosen for them. Amen. However, it is such a blessing to see them grown and choosing a good life for themselves. It is more satisfying to have your children not take drugs because they don’t want to, than because you told them not to. Their own conviction will carry them when they are out of your sight, and it comes from the personal work of Christ in them. That is why, for every one time we warn them of drugs, we point them a hundred times to Jesus.